"That is completely out of the question, Bristow!"
Vaughn's angry voice echoed in the small trailer and he glared at Jack Bristow, who was glowering right back at him. The tension between them filled in the enclosed space they were in the door was locked and from the outside it was just a nondescript trailer parked in a remote spot behind a wooded park.
"They've already killed her fiancι," Jack hissed. "What do you think they will do to her next, especially when she hasn't reported back to work after her month off? Send her another condolence bouquet? I have good reason to think not."
"I know the situation is precarious now," Vaughn tried to reason. "But..."
"I'm not going to sit back and watch my daughter get hurt!" Jack raised his voice. "Why can't you just understand that and let me handle things myself?"
"Because I don't want you to get hurt!" Vaughn snapped back, without thinking. He didn't realize the vehemence in his voice, or notice the stunned expression on Jack's face. "What do you think will happen if you tell Sydney to watch out for her life even before they try to do anything to her? It's been six weeks. Only top management would know any designs SD-6 might have on her, and when they find out that she's been alerted, they'll soon realize you're the only one who could've told her. Then what happens?"
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but for one of the rare times in his life he found himself without a reply. Vaughn favored him with another pointed look, and then took a deep breath. "I know you don't care much about yourself, Jack, but I... do. And it's my job to protect you."
"Protect me?" Jack's mouth curled in a bitter smile. "You actually think that you can protect me, Agent Vaughn?"
"I guess not," Vaughn shot back. "It seems you do that perfectly well on your own."
Jack eyed Vaughn critically. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're so good at protecting yourself that you spend all your time shielded off from everyone," Vaughn answered sharply. "Even people who want to help you. Whom you can trust. But no, you think that it's weak to show emotion, to "
"It is weak!" Jack's voice cracked like a whip; the younger agent looked startled by his outburst. Jack drew a controlled breath before he spoke again, "Understand this, Agent Vaughn. In what I do, in the world that I operate in, to care about a person is to make yourself vulnerable. Or to make someone think you're something you're not." He paused."And to tell them the truth... that would mean certain death. Sydney learned it the hard way, and I" he broke off and shook his head. "I should have done something earlier. Just a few minutes would have made all the difference."
Suddenly Jack felt a warm hand on his shoulder; Vaughn had moved to stand behind him. His first instinct was to withdraw, but somehow Jack didn't: it was strangely comforting to feel the quiet touch of the younger agent.
Finally Vaughn spoke.
"You have to stop blaming yourself," he said, and then leaned in ever so slightly. "You couldn't have done to prevent Danny's death without jeopardizing yourself. You're in a tough position, Jack, I know that, and " Vaughn hesitated, and then added in a rush, "I'm here, and I know the truth."
Jack turned; now the two men were standing facing each other.
Jack's mouth barely moved as he said, "What are you saying?"
"I already know who you are, Jack," Vaughn answered, not taking his eyes away from the older man standing across from him; they were so close that Vaughn could've simply reached out to touch the knot of Jack's tie or straighten the slight crease in his collar. Vaughn took a breath, and then continued, "So you don't have to hide behind a mask when you're with me. And I wish you wouldn't, because I already know exactly what you do, the kind of man you are and I don't just accept you, I... I respect you, Jack, and I would trust you with my life."
The effect that Vaughn's quiet words seemed to have on Jack was startling: those gray eyes carefully wiped clean of emotion suddenly warmed and Jack suddenly moved forward. In a blink, Vaughn found himself maneuvered and backed up against the trailer wall, although there was still no contact between them.
"You'd trust me with your life?" Jack said, his voice a low whisper.
Vaughn felt a shiver of excitement curl up his spine. "Yes," he breathed.
A smile lifted the sides of Jack's mouth and an unnamed emotion flickered in his eyes. "What else will you trust me with?"
And Vaughn answered his question by leaning forward and kissing Jack on the lips.
The moment exploded between them like fireworks, bursting into sparks of colorful fires that, for those precious instants, lit their world. Vaughn was aware that he was being nudged up against the wall and held in place as Jack's mouth closed over his, kissing him back. One of Jack's hands rested on his waist and the other moved to hold the back of Vaughn's head, cushioning it against the hard wall behind them in an oddly protective manner.
A moan escaped Vaughn's lips as Jack's tongue slid into his mouth. Their fully clothed bodies were pressed together, no breathing space left Jack's thigh was wedged against Vaughn's crotch and Jack closed his eyes and immersed himself in the sensation that flared through every fiber of his body. He gripped the younger man so tightly that he vaguely wondered if he was hurting him; but Vaughn arched against him and kissed Jack thoroughly in return, their teeth clashing. Jack was impressed at the eagerness of the usually calm, composed agent and he had to admit that he wanted Michael. This fragment of thought catalyzed him, sending a rush of heat through his body such as he had never felt before.
He wanted Michael Vaughn, this unlikely person who seemed to care about him, who somehow trusted him in return him, Jack Bristow, a man who survived by being duplicitous and was flawlessly good at it.
Reality abruptly caught up with him, spearing him through like a spike of ice. What was he doing? Jack panicked, another thing he seldom did; it seemed like Vaughn was responsible for a lot of what Jack would never have done, under any other circumstances.
No. Jack summoned every ounce of willpower as he pushed himself away from the wall, breaking the kiss and their physical contact. Vaughn's eyes flashed open in confusion and Jack had to look away. It hurt too much, but he had to do it for Vaughn's sake. The younger man was a good agent, but he was still young and inexperienced and their professional relationship was already dangerous enough.
"We can't." Jack's voice was hoarse. "We shouldn't. It would destroy everything."
He saw a flicker of hurt cross Vaughn's face before the younger man turned and moved away, occupying himself with gathering the files strewn on the narrow table.
"Wait and watch, and do nothing until SD-6 makes the first move," Vaughn's voice was brisk, business-like once more. He didn't look up. "You'll have to play your cards very carefully. When they strike, then you move in to rescue Sydney. Not a moment earlier. Your life, as well as hers, and the integrity of this entire operation rests on your good sense of timing."
Vaughn slotted the files into his briefcase and heaved it off the table finally he turned to face Jack again. His face was a mask of calm, although his eyes betrayed a hint of something else.
"Talk to her, Jack," Vaughn said, and then paused. "You can shut me out of your life, but don't do the same thing to Sydney. You owe her that much."
Vaughn did not wait for a reply; he turned and headed to the door, unlocked it and quietly let himself out, and then he was gone.
Jack stared at the closed door for a long time; the empty space was filled with silence and the memory of what had just happened between them.
Jack closed his eyes; and now, more fervently than ever, he wished things could have been different. That he didn't have to push away anyone who could make him even remotely vulnerable. That he could actually tell Michael Vaughn how he really felt.
But maybe some things were better left unsaid.
- fin -