When he was actually seriously considering asking Seamus about that idea of his, Ron knew how desperate the situation had become. He shook his head ruefully as he tried to concentrate on the Potions readings in front of him; he looked up, saw Harry sitting across from him, and ceased to think rationally altogether.
He and Harry were alone in the dormitory, where they were trying to get some studying done away from the noise and disturbance of the common room downstairs. They were each sitting on their own beds, and Ron had carefully arranged books and scrolls all around him to keep up the pretence of studying.
Finally, Ron decided that he couldn't take it anymore. He had to say something, and it was now or never. Well, maybe it was now or later or never, but the latter two options were proving to be severely detrimental to his mental state of health.
"You know, Harry, I was just thinking," Ron started awkwardly. He swung his feet over the side of his own bed, stood up and walked nervously over to Harry's bedside.
Harry glanced up. "About what?" Ron's attempt at a casual tone had apparently fallen flat on its face, because Harry gave Ron a concerned look. "Something wrong?"
"No, no," Ron said hastily, sitting down at the foot of Harry's bed. "Just some normal stuff, you know, homework and people and relationships and Quidditch and things like that." He was speaking very fast and he was painfully aware of that.
Harry smiled, and Ron was glad that he was already sitting down or his knees would have given way under him.
"Well, that sure sounds like a lot to think about all at once." Harry paused and gave Ron a searching look. "You sure you're feeling all right?"
Ron avoided answering that because he was pretty sure he wasn't feeling all right; he determinedly pulled himself together and continued, "Anyway, I was just thinking, you know, just a general sort of wondering about... about unlikely people." He felt as if each word was being dragged out of him with a pair of pliers.
"Unlikely people?" Harry arched his eyebrow; the confused expression on his face wasn't helping Ron any. "What do you mean, unlikely?"
Ron inhaled deeply, and he suddenly regretted bringing up this whole matter to begin with. Harry was looking at him curiously and Ron tried to figure out how he was supposed to say "Harry, I think I'm in love with you" without actually using those words.
"Okay," Ron said carefully, casting about for the right words, "for example, how would you react if you found out that someone totally unexpected fancied you? Just as a matter of discussion, of course," he quickly added.
Harry furrowed his brow. "Completely unexpected," he repeated. "Like who?"
Ron was about to say "like your best friend," but quickly realised that was about as discreet as fishing with an anchor. So he leapt to the other extreme. "Like maybe your worst enemy... Malfoy, for instance." That was about the worst-case scenario, wasn't it?
Harry's eyebrows shot up. "Malfoy?" he echoed. "Malfoy? What are you getting at, Ron? Why why would you think Malfoy fancies me?"
"Precisely!" Ron exclaimed. "How would you react if you found out that someone as unexpected as Malfoy, whom you'd never suspect on any normal occasion, actually likes you?"
A certain understanding dawned on Harry's face; he tilted his head.
"I see what you mean," Harry said quietly; he averted his gaze from Ron's for a moment, and when he finally looked back again, Ron saw that there was a tentative, hesitant expression in his green eyes.
What's Harry thinking? Ron held his breath and wondered if it would help if he stopped breathing altogether. At least that was guaranteed to calm him down. Ron saw the uneasiness in Harry's eyes and his heart sank what if Harry was thinking of the nicest way to tell him 'no'? The nicest way to do that was probably to stick a knife in Ron's chest and twist it around for a bit.
"Well," Harry finally spoke; his words were careful and measured. "You know, Ron, I'm actually glad you brought this up because the truth is, I've been wanting to ask you about it but I didn't really know how to start."
Ron felt his heart leap up and slam against his ribcage he froze for a moment, before a torrent of joy and relief flooded through him.
"Really?" He could barely believe his ears. "You you actually feel that way...?"
Harry nodded. "I know you must think it's awfully strange" he smiled almost bashfully, "and it's been bothering me for a while now, so I'm happy you've mentioned it. All the while I was afraid you wouldn't understand "
Ron was giddy with happiness; he shifted closer to Harry and beamed at him. "I'm so glad we've finally got this out in the open. I had no idea you felt this way, but but I just had to ask you." At this, Harry gave him the sweetest, most sincere smile Ron had ever seen in his life, and Ron suddenly wanted nothing more than to kiss Harry, right then and there.
Harry sat back against the head of his bed, sighed and said, "Now the question is, what happens next. I mean, I still have no idea how he feels."
Ron's heart abruptly stopped. "He?"
Harry nodded. "Malfoy, of course." He paused and looked at Ron quizzically. "Who did you think I was talking about?"
Ron's hopes came crashing down, and he felt like he couldn't breathe.
"No one," he managed to gasp weakly, but Harry was too deep in thought to notice Ron's inner anguish.
"It's all pretty impossible, I know," Harry said, sounding rueful. "Malfoy has completely no idea that I'm well. Sort of attracted to him." Ron made a choked gurgling noise; Harry mistook it for a snort of laughter and quickly added, "I mean, it's not like I wanted to like him. I've watched him fly during all those Slytherin practices and one of those days I just just noticed him, in a completely different way. He just looked so good that day, and the way he flew..."
Harry sounded wistful, and Ron wondered if a person could actually die from severe inner agony, such as finding out the boy you loved actually had a crush on the boy you hated.
Ron closed his eyes. Things really couldn't get any worse.
As if on cue, there was a click as the doorknob turned and the door opened. Seamus walked into the dormitory and saw Harry and Ron both sitting on Harry's bed; his blue eyes lit up with excitement. Ron knew exactly what Seamus was thinking and at the moment he just wished he could evaporate into thin air and spare himself the humiliation of everything that had just gone wrong.
For one bright and shining moment, it seemed that his world was perfect. For those precious few minutes he had believed that Harry, his Harry, actually felt the same way about him.
"So!" Seamus flashed them both a broad grin. "So, this is fun! What have you two been up to all night? We missed you down in the common room." Seamus smirked, and then came over and prodded Ron. "Don't suppose you missed us, hmm, Ron?"
Ron shot Seamus a look sharp enough to slice glass; Seamus blinked and raised his eyebrows as if to ask, What's the matter? You mean you two haven't been making out?
"Oh, we've been studying," Harry offered, seeing that Ron was determinedly refusing to answer. "And we were just chatting for a bit nothing much."
"I see." Seamus continued to eye Ron questioningly, although Ron now avoided his gaze. "Just chatting, were you? So I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?" He sounded almost hopeful.
Harry shook his head and said no, not at all, in fact he was just going back downstairs to return Hermione some notes that he had borrowed. Harry got up and picked up Hermione's notes; he gave Ron a quick grin before disappearing down the stairs.
Two seconds after Harry exited the scene, Seamus had settled himself next to Ron, who was still sitting at the foot of Harry's bed with a dazed, traumatised look on his face.
"Okay," Seamus began, nudging Ron on the shoulder. "So what just happened with you and Harry? How did it go? I mean, Harry was smiling and happy and all, so that must be a good sign... right?" Seamus looked to Ron for affirmation, but saw only a continued vacant expression, blank and utterly defeated. "Or maybe not. Hmm. Okay, this does not look so good. What happened? Oh Ron, come on, talk to me."
Ron buried his face in his hands and let out a moan. "I don't want to talk about it," he said in a muffled voice. "I just want to die."
Seamus's eyes softened with sympathy. "Did you... did you tell him?" he asked.
"Yeah, I wanted to. But I didn't even get that far." Ron took a deep breath, and then blurted out, "It turns out Harry's in love with Draco Malfoy instead! Malfoy, of all people!"
Seamus's jaw dropped. "Malfoy?"
Ron nodded in despair. "And all I could do was grin and bear it as Harry went on and on and on about that bastard. It was absolutely humiliating."
Seamus squeezed Ron's hand lightly. "You wanna talk about what happened, exactly?"
Ron decided that he really could do with someone to confide in at the moment, and Seamus seemed about the best person he could talk to. So he started to recount the entire episode, right from the start when he had gone over to Harry's bed to talk. When Ron reached the part where he had first mentioned Malfoy's name by way of example, Seamus's eyes widened.
"No! You didn't!" Seamus exclaimed.
Ron blinked, nonplussed. "What?"
Seamus shook his head in disbelief. "Why in the name of all things sane did you have to bring up Draco Malfoy?"
Ron looked confused. "What does bringing up Malfoy have to do with anything?"
Seamus jumped to his feet and began pacing back and forth in front of Ron. "So let me get this straight. You were sitting there, nice and proper, trying to tell Harry to reconsider the level of your friendship. Then, with no provocation whatsoever, completely out of the blue, you start talking about Malfoy?"
Ron was getting exasperated. "I was trying to make a point!" he argued.
"No!" Seamus cried, shaking his head. "You don't talk about Malfoy, like, ever! Why on earth would you sabotage your entire plan by doing something like that?" Seamus paused and visibly calmed himself; he walked back and sat down next to Ron, who still looked completely bewildered. "All right. Okay. Here's the thing. This may seem completely ridiculous to you, Ron, because I know you hate Malfoy, but... Draco Malfoy is the hottest Slytherin boy to have ever walked the halls of Hogwarts. Yep, that's about right. And he's probably the secret bedroom fantasy of at least half the student population, and I'm not just talking about girls."
Ron spluttered and almost choked. "Excuse me? Malfoy?"
Seamus nodded seriously. "He's the boy that everyone loves to hate, but on the other hand
he's got that quality about him. The defiance and arrogance and wit..." Seamus paused, and then added with a straight face, "Plus, he's got a dead sexy body."
"Oh my god," Ron looked distinctly sick. "I think I'm going to throw up." He gave Seamus an accusing look. "Seamus Finnigan, don't you dare tell me that you're one of the blind, brainless half of Hogwarts who actually finds... Malfoy... sexy." It seemed to take a huge effort for Ron to say the last two words.
Seamus blushed a little. "I think he's all right." He quickly changed the subject. "Okay, well, time for damage control. Right now, what you have to do is make Harry see that Malfoy isn't the sort of guy that's worth his trouble. Not when there's you, and you're obviously the better choice. All you have to do is make Harry see that."
"And how am I supposed to do that, exactly?" Ron said bleakly.
"Hmm. Good question." Seamus paused. "Ah, don't worry, we'll think of something soon."
Ron wondered why he didn't exactly feel very comforted by Seamus's words.
"And I'll help you," Seamus added brightly, leaning closer and tilting Ron's chin so that he could look into his eyes. "Oh, do cheer up, Ron, I hate seeing you so sad. Please?"
Ron sighed and managed a small nod. Then again, having Seamus by his side was always a nice thing.